"Broken isn't bad or else puzzle wouldn't sell." - unknown.
I grew up in a less fortunate world -- one where we could not ask anything that's not on the table. One where you can't buy new shoes or clothes or bags unless what you have has worn you out. That world when you can't go to school today because you don't have money to pay for the bus, let alone your lunch.
With much determination built inside me, I've instilled in my mind that such situations shouldn't hinder achieving my dreams and goals for my future. Those hard-core experiences in life at a very young age were actually a privilege that served as perfect motivation to move forward and achieve more than my yesterdays.
It was all the more... wonderful.
Until I realized, My grandmother is aching.
Aching for the fact that the granddaughter she used to raise at a very young age lives so far away. So far not only by distance but also in touch. I was living to build my future that I always imagine it to be, forgetting the fact that the one who prayed for me to achieve my dreams is hurting while being selflessly happy for my own achievements.
I was too ambitious for my own good. She was broken inside for missing those times that it was us on one roof, sharing the same bed, making breakfast for us too.
And now there's only her.
In the house. Alone.
No one to eat breakfast with.
No one to sleep and share the blanket with.
With this, I now comprehend the loud prayers you used to say before we go to bed.
To live peacefully, to live happily.
A new job may excite us. New milestones serve as great opportunities and build our confidence. To reach your dreams is a great achievement. But all of these are temporary. What's more vital is to live peacefully in life. To live with the ones you love that even on your darkest days, you can still shape the silhouette of your loved ones smiling back at you. I couldn't imagine anything beyond wonderful than that, true say.
To my grandma, Thank you for giving me the gift of loyalty, faith, and love above all. I'm sorry for breaking you apart whilst making my life whole. You gave me shelter out of your arms, food out of your own plate, and wisdom out of your own heart. There's nothing ever wonderful but you, Grandma. There's not a single part of me that isn't made of you. I love you with all my heart and soul. See you soon, my love.
