We all know perfection is a myth. Maybe because very few could achieve perfectionism and those who couldn’t made it a myth.
Virat Kohli achieved his 50th ODI, which looks like such a perfect day and time to achieve in a World Cup series in India.
Some of us believed his anger would take him down one day. How is he rising and shining so high? What changed Virat Kohli? How did he become the first person on Earth to have such a record?
Was he born perfect? No, for sure. Most of us are just born with the same abilities. Each one of us becomes special with certain ingredients. The increase and decrease of these ingredients make us achieve our unrealistic dreams.
What are those Perfect human Ingredients?
As a Career and Life coach, I had the opportunity to assess personality patterns—every individual is different due to these unique blends of attributes. There are a few I would like to highlight which one must build for themselves or their children.
Locus of control: How many times have you said to yourself “ why this always happens with me?” This one sentence describes any individual’s locus of control. Locus of control is the assurance of ability over self. Do you believe you can control your life?OR Do you believe everything is destiny? Such beliefs build your personality. How you respond to various situations in your life is built on this personality trait. If not corrected we unknowingly pass this trait to our children or siblings. Internal Locus of Control where we instill belief within ourselves. We function on beliefs such as, “I can make things happen.” I can change my future with good habits.” These belief systems are powerful and make you strong enough to handle tougher situations or failures. Everyone fails, however, it is one’s internal Locus of control which makes the person accept it and try again. Many of us have a strong external locus of control, as they believe they have the ability to change circumstances. Having a strong internal locus of control is the most important ingredient for becoming a successful individual.
Emotional Regulation: Fundamentally, Love and anger are our driving emotions. Our decisions depend on whether we like (love) the idea or if we are angry over something but it is affecting other things. Love is of two kinds that determine one’s personality. Inwards Love or the Self-love and the second is outwards love ( which is seeking validation). The outwards Love where we give more love and also want validation for it, is the most negative trait if you do not have developed self-love. Most of us learn self-love much later. Our upbringing is built on the phenomenon that giving love is an act of good or God which we also seek validation by only expecting good things happening to us. As life is not always going to give one only good experiences, we start questioning ourselves. I am a good person and I give so much love, but I do not receive love or validation from others. Imagine if most successful entrepreneurs started donating their profits since the beginning, they wouldn’t have become great. To become great one has to learn to self-love. Most successful personalities build their own homes, businesses, or luxuries then they give some amount to others as an act of social responsibility. So outward love should be an option and Inward Love is a necessity. Loving yourself and your family is Inward which one has to build in their personality. Anger has also the same effect as love. Anger is the most harmful for any individual. Anger has two kinds such as Inwards Anger ( self Harm) and Outwards Anger ( Harming others). Both of the Anger do not bring any positive outcome. But what if we do learn to turn our Anger into a vital energy to bring the best of our abilities? It is possible to turn anger into an intense pursuit and it is a skill to learn. Also if one can blend Anger with a strong internal locus of control is a positive trait. (This is what Virat Kohli did with his anger).
Resilience: I have read so many books where Resilience plays a key role in success. Resilience is the courage to adapt ourselves to changing circumstances. How much pain, loss, and suffering can one endure and still survive, and excel, It is not just physical endurance that makes one great it is emotional endurance that makes one greater of all. When to take a step back and when to grasp the opportunity is a personal attribute called Resilience. Giving up is the most difficult choice, but many do give up due to low resilience. Those who courageously hold on to failures change the outcome with emotional intelligence. That’s how when many assumed Virat Kohli’s anger would take him down, he turned it internally through resilience. To be resilient one has to reach the most calm state of mind as one has to accept the unfavourable times and continue to adapt to the changing environment. Developing a strong social network and tackling the arising problems step by step is what being resilient means.
If you read the biographies of eminent personalities, you will find the above traits to be common. They were not born with these traits. They developed these traits.
All great individuals are assumed as lucky. Luck is not a factor but it is belief and energy. Do not give up on things due to a belief that You are not lucky. If you are spiritual then luck is your God. If you are not spiritual luck is your locus of control.
A great human or greatest achievement, requires patience and a skilled personality. Both of these can be developed with good association and environment.
We are currently in a period where knowledge is free but time is not. How you use your time to build your unrealistic dreams makes an individual a great human being.
Do what you love and do what needs to be done to achieve your most unrealistic dream.
