British holidaymakers will be allowed into the EU based on points awarded according to how fat and annoying they are, it has been confirmed, newsthump.com reports.
Points will also be deducted for the precise shade of cherry-pink people go after 48 hours in the blazing hot sun with no suncream.
The EU is to introduce the system in response to British proposals of a ‘points-based’ immigration system that would prevent people entering the UK from Europe.